Writing
I write as proof that I exist, and so as not to lose my mind — to prevent my sorrow from choking the life from my soul. To know what I really think, and to ride the currents of my joy and laughter… I write.
I write to track my personal growth, share what I have experienced, reveal my arrogance, shed light on my ignorance, leave my trace, and expose my vulnerability; in hopes others won’t rebuke, banish, hurt, or even kill me – but rather see me worthy of mercy… of love, perhaps… at least see me not so unlike themselves, and have pity.
I write because there is an urge to break the mental silence, to make a din… create a literate clatter – to be certain I am not ignored, forgotten, or mistaken. I write because I am sad, I am crazy, I am odd, I am insecure, I am lonely and frightened, cursed, clever — I write because I am thrilled, full of life, nearing death, desperate to know, confident in my knowledge, and entangled and strangled by the why of it all.
I write because I can, and so that I might. I write to survive — I have no choice.
________________
The Poets
•
damaged in their special ways
they like the path unclear
the route unmarked
fond of stumbling in
fumbling through
finding the way that’s theirs
engaged by the obtuse
the uneven
the asymmetric chord
they see grace and form
in brilliant imbalance
seduced by the clue
drawn to the fog
they seek the wonder
it withholds
where they long to go
is always round the bend
over the hill
behind the door
their ears prick
to the distant sound
that calls
just beyond clarity
to all these things
their souls are pulled
because
down the trail
in the mist
around he curve
over the crest
shut away
the clarion awaits
where all is clear
and known
…
rob kistner © 2007
Image & Verse Too 
“I write because I can, and so that I might. I write to survive — I have no choice.”
Very well told. I can’t find words right now how I felt reading this piece. Thought it was written for me, about me. When we write, we give out so much of ourselves.
That poem is great too.
Glad to be the first one to comment here.
“you took the words right out of my mouth”….. Rob, that was beautiful, Thank you,
Jo
Writing, you got it exactly, eloquent, Thank You Rob.
Rob- first I want to say that I could not leave a comment on your PT post the other day- and I thought that poem was BRILLIANT…
Secondly, your turn of prhase, “literate clatter” is one for the books. I am glad you write… it has made me think about my writing a lot more. That says something right there…
I am totally blown away. Both pieces are staggeringly well-written.You have a lot of talent. This
engaged by the obtuse
the uneven
the asymmetric chord
they see grace and form
in brilliant imbalance
is so very good.
I tried to leave a comment earlier, but for some reason wordpress doesn’t like me, hope it works now!
I thought what you wrote for this prompt was brilliant – you’re in a league of your own!
Rob I came back to say that I have just read 284 Why I am a Poet and I gather I can only comment here. Where to begin? Your personal strength amazes me, you have been through so, so much and yet you work shimmers with beauty and hope…..wow.
You write for all the best reasons, and because of that, what you write resonates in others. I love both parts of this post – the yin and yang, in a way, but especially the poem. Thank you.
Gautami –
I appreciate your kind words, thank you! 😉
Yes, in writing honestly we expose every corner of our soul, be it dark, dim, or brightly lit — we put it our there so others will no feel alone in their life.
I love to write, and I write to live.
I am glad you were first to comment here, you’ve been a consistent supporter of my efforts. I am grateful!
Jo –
Thank you! 😉
I pleased our thoughts found harmony.
I’m glad you stopped by for a visit, please come back.
Redness –
Your compliment was most gracious… 😉
I’m not certain I have writing fully understood, but I think I’ve witnessed a glimpse or two… and I try to share it, best I can.
Regina –
No, the comment feature on my original Image & Verse blog is still hit and miss. With all the posts, comments, artwork, photos, recordings I’ve made reading my work, all the other links — it is now so dense with code at this point, that its beginning to feel like looking for a needle in the haystack… but I keep looking. I will get the original I&V back up!!
In the meantime, one can still visit and read, look, and peruse all the creative work there.
Thank you very much, I am pleased you liked my PT post. I assume you refer to my work entitled “The Door”. That piece was written from chilling childhood memories that still haunt me today.
My writing sometimes feels like just so much “literate clatter”… but I rattle on.
How fulfilling it is to know that I have helped, in my small way, to put you deeper in touch with your muse. That warms my heart, thank you for telling me! 😉
Jo –
I am glad the work touched you… 😉
I was moved when that verse you quoted was given to me by my muse. Those times, when the words come, feel so sacred.
I never cease to be in awe of the moments of inspiration that we are all blessed with, from time to time. I feel fortunate that I occasionally find the quiet to listen, capture a few, and share them. It is a tiny miracle in my life, for which I’m remain humbly grateful.
Gill –
I certainly hope this WordPress blog does not begin to act up. You were able to post, and I’m glad.
Given this is a new blog, the very first time everyone tries to post, that post will be held for me to moderate and approve. After that, you should be able to freely post.
Thank you fro your very kind words!
I hope someday they don’t begin rounding up those folks in my ‘league’ for institutionalization… 😉
Jo –
You’re very kind. There is a colloquialism that has been around for years. “Whatever doesn’t kill you, will make you stronger”. It is so profoundly true. It nay take years to work through the trauma, but there is a solidity and wisdom that comes through with you, if you are fortunate to find your way from the dark side to the light.
Unfortunately, some do not survive emotionally, some even lose their life. Child abuse is an evil of staggering enormity, because the victims are completely unable to understand, and totally ill equipped to cope.
It is inconceivable horror heaped upon the most innocent — and it is perpetrated by the very ones the child looks to for protection… for help in comprehending this confusing, and for a child, often frightening world.
It is a betrayal of the heart and soul, so absolute, that it can destroy — absolutely.
That childhood nightmare became for me, the driving force to create a nurturing family, and to foster love and support within that family — to create a safe place for all in the family, so they could prosper mentally and emotionally and know they are worthy of love… and how to love.
I failed partially at my first attempt to create that family, as my first wife and I fell distant. But that was my lesson to learn to trust women. I did not have that knowledge from my childhood.
But I learned how to trust, and my relationship with my first wife elevated after the divorce. The child from that marriage thrived and is very much a part of my life, as is her mother.
I found the magic in my current marriage of 20+ years, and it will continue. I’m a lucky man. The experiences and lessons that life delivers to each of us are exactly what makes us who we are, and unless you hate yourself, you cannot hate your life.
You may not want to wish it on others, but embrace it — it’s yours… and the only one on this plane that you can be certain you will ever have. Don’t waste it.
Imelda –
Thank you! 😉
I always hope I can find that thread of connection, that chord — that resonance…
Thank you for that response; I agree with every word (and will never understand such people)……..I think you are one very special man as well as being an incredibly talented writer.
Jo –
I appreciate your kind comments. 😉
I consider myself a lucky survivor who was fortunate to find music, and then writing, to get through the dark times.
You express yourself very well here – all those reasons for writing – I agree with every one of them. Writing is a passion – no matter the medium.
Lissa –
Thank you! 😉
Writing is a passion… for me it borders on obsession, but I do have a rich ‘other’ life — so I remain on the healthy side.
Every human should write — something… it mines the depth of the soul, putting you in touch with your essence, your ‘gist’. There is strength in that connection.
I wish I shared your fearless honesty in my writing. I feel like I write to conceal as much as I reveal. Your writing brims of boldness, clarity and passion. I always leave your site with a sense of enlightenment, inspiration and awe. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself in your writing.
I think every writer who reads this will find something that resonates for them. For me it was this…I write “to know what I really think.” In putting the words on paper, my own thoughts and feelings become so much clearer.
Wonderful post and poem.
(BTW, I was one who could not seem to leave comments on your other blog, beautiful as it was to see and read!)
See you on Writer’s Island 🙂
Herb –
You humble me with your words… thank you!
What I wrote in this post is absolutely why I write, it is to survive… on many levels, certainly emotionally. I am pleased you can find something in what I write. 😉
Becca –
Thank you! 😉
The words were from my heart.
See you on Writers Island!
Brilliant, and so powerful, and yes. Just….yes.
I am looking forward to Writers Island. Somehow I feel that the PT contributers have disbanded. We all need to re-group at one place instead of having small groupings.
You write to break the silence. I write because the inner dialogue is incessant that it has to break free. Similar, but different. Your writing really does give us a glimpse into your soul. Thank you for sharing it.
A friend of mine was a wonderful songwriter and poet. I think he would have liked your work very much. I think you might like his as well. His lyrics can be found in the “Archives” (no direct link).
http://www.geocities.com/scuderosplace/home_page/entry.htm
seduced by the clue
drawn to the fog
they seek the wonder
it withholds
I am a sucker for the seduction…..as always Rob, your writing has pulled me in.
Why you write is why I write…….while reading your descriptive words, I kept nodding and saying to myself…..”me too”
You wrote: “to ride the currents of my joy and laughter” and I found this powerful and true.
MissMeliss –
Thank you for your most enthusiastic and positive compliment… I appreciate it! 😉
Gautami –
I am very pleased you are excited. That will help in making Writers Island realize its intended goal.
It has been created to be a place of constancy, where all can gather and contribute. Things have purposely been kept simple so WI can be purely about writing — for the joy of writing.
In two days, we will see if that line from the wonderful Kevin Costner movie, “Field of Dreams” is true — ‘If you build it, they will come’. 😉
Robin –
Thank you for your kind words, and you are most welcome for the glimpse into what drives my writing. 😉
I relate completely to your writing ‘because the inner dialogue is incessant’ and it must ‘break free’. I have that same cacophonous dialogue in my head at times. That is what inspired the lines — ‘To know what I really think…’ and ‘…to make a literate clatter…’ and ‘…entangled and strangled by the why of it all…’
Being ADD and diabetic, my inner voice roller coasters between a constant chatter, and an occasional trance-like silence.
I appreciate the tip regarding Ray Scudero. I will check him out.
Awareness –
I’m ‘a sucker for the seduction’ as well my friend… 😉
Thank you for your kind words!
Your muse must be related to mine…
Stacy –
I am pleased this line touched you! 😉
I just had one of those moments where what someone else has written is just exactly what I feel.
Thanks so much for your recent email.
Peace Joy Blessings
Frances –
I am very pleased we connected! 😉
…and you are most welcome…
Rob
I write for many of the same reasons. And because it is inconceivable to not-write. 😉
Cynthia –
I have always believed that the world would be unbearable if music were to cease to exist, or writing were somehow made impossible… yes, inconceivable.
“I write because there is an urge to break the mental silence, to make a din… create a literate clatter”
This line touched me the most! As always a wonderful poem.
It sounds as if, different as we are individually, we are all quite like you. Writers, what a lot!
Lisrobbe –
I am pleased this connected with you… 😉
…and thank you!
Patois –
I think there is a nature, a spirit, that all writers possess — that sparks the aptitude to write… no matter what the individual motivations may be. It is the common thread… 😉
I always thought artists (writers, painters, musicians, etc.) remember the ‘other side’ from whence we came and will return, and there is a longing in that rememberence, to return, or to bring that into being here, now…that is what fans the flames, what brings the voice, the word, the music and the movement…I write to keep sane, to keep afloat and to stay present in this world…to keep connected to what I remember and what I feel. I am so pleased to have come across your site…I previously stopped writing/creating and have been slowly sinking…through your site, I have remembered and I am rising….blessings 🙂
Chandrala –
I am plaeased to have re-sparked your inspiration!
Never lose touch with your muse — no matter how stubborn they can be at times… 😉